Honestly speaking, I am actually still seriously affected by my relationship with Li Mei. Each time I see her profile on facebook, her tweets or even thinking about the term "love" or "relationship", I just go shut, I go numb totally. I began to recall and see the sight of myself from the scene of my last year's birthday, which marks the day when I broke up with Li Mei. I saw a sight of myself, how pathetic I really look. With the scene of myself crying on that very midnight after the clock strikes 12 to enter my 20th birthday, after she leaving the birthday cake on my door with a candle lighted up just specially for me, with number codes on the cake saying "do you still want to be with me" written on them. I went to chase after her, went around the neighbourhood, crying and screaming for her name, with so much pain inside of me caused by the torment of how much I really wanted to see her, to the end of the day, me knocking on her door, calling out her non-stop with all those tears in my eyes, full of desperation, but at the end, only facing the rejection. That rejected feeling, just the very thought of it, my heart feels it. I felt so betrayed. She asked me if I would still want to be with her but yet she rejected me when there I was crying out for her.
I suppose, that was the real reason why I never really tell people about how we broke up and why we broke up, because each time this chapter of my life appears, it just hits me rock bottom.
Just a random thought I had and I suppose, since i brought this matter up, it's time to faced it, move on and let God..
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